Navigating conversations with someone who is grieving can be challenging. Our intentions are often to comfort and support, but sometimes the words we choose may not have the desired effect. Understanding what to say—and what to avoid—can make a significant difference. As David Kessler often says, "We are a grief illiterate society." Unfortunately, this is true. My intention as a grief educator is to provide you with tools for your own grief and loss journey while also providing you with tools and tips to help and support others. In this blog I want to share what David Kessler world renowned grief expert recommends as the best and worst things to say to a person who is experiencing grief and loss.
The Best Things to Say to Someone in Grief
1. I am so sorry for your loss.
2. I wish I had the right words, just know I care.
3. I don’t know how you feel, but I am here to help in any way I can.
4. You and your loved one will be in my thoughts and prayers.
5. My favorite memory of your loved one is…
6. I am always just a phone call away
7. Give a hug instead of saying something
8. We all need help at times like this, I am here for you
9. I am usually up early or late, if you need anything
10. Saying nothing, just be with the person
11. I'm here for you
12. It's okay to feel this way.
The Worst Things to Say to Someone in Grief
1. At least he/she lived a long life, many people die young
2. He/she is in a better place
3. She/he brought this on themself
4. There is a reason for everything
5. Aren’t you over him/her yet, he/she has been dead for awhile now
6. You can still have another child
7. She was such a good person God wanted her to be with him
8. I know how you feel
9. She did what she came here to do and it was her time to go
10. Be strong
When offering support to someone in grief, it’s crucial to be mindful of your words. Aim to be empathetic, validate their feelings, witness their emotions
or just hug them and provide a listening ear. Remember, your presence and willingness to support are often more valuable than finding the perfect words. By avoiding common pitfalls and focusing on compassionate communication, you can offer meaningful comfort during a difficult time.
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